No matter how hard you try, even if you can think you can guarantee sleeping in late, and having dreamless peaceful sleep, when nightmares come you'll always be awake.
I hate when you try to be ok with something, and then seemingly you make progress. You feel a bit happier, smile a bit brighter. But in reality it's just like a toothpaste tube that's been capped shut. You can mush it and poke it and prod it and the contents don't come out, but if you squeeze with just the right pressure it will ooze out any which way. Maybe not even through the cap.
Which happened to be the same for me. I thought that things were going to be ok, and that they seemed to be ok. But my dilemma seems to have found another venue to present itself. And it sucks 'cause I thought I was already on the road to recovery.
And now, I'm trying to fight being angry. Angry because nothing will ever be the same, no matter how I try.
posted by Karl @ 9:07 AM
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